I’ve done next to nothing over the past two weeks, and it’s been wonderful. Sometimes it’s hard being cooped up at home with the kids, but gosh I love those little monsters. And I still was able to spend some quality time with the hubs, so I’m feeling pretty relaxed and zen right now.
WHAT I READ IN DECEMBER
I read a bunch in December, seven books total. Click on the title below the cover image to read my full review.
I also wrote about the importance of negative reviews and listed my favorite books of 2018. The Minimalist Home ended up being my most popular post of the month, which is interesting to me. I think maybe we all like the idea of paring down and cleaning up. Having less stuff in our lives just feels good. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way (even if I don’t always get it right).
As for 2019… I feel like this is going to be a year that I focus on what makes me actually happy. I spent 2018 pushing myself socially, reaching out to people, making a point to have friends over to our house for dinner on a regular basis, assuming a larger role in my kid’s school’s PTO, etc. And it was really good for the most part. It was challenging, but I strengthened connections and grew as a person.
It also helped me accept myself. Putting myself out there more meant being rejected sometimes, maybe even more times than I’d like to admit. As someone who has experienced loads of rejection on a core “parent-child relationship” level, I can admit that I have lived a lot of my life trying to shield myself from any rejection whatsoever. Everyone hates to be rejected, but for real, I hate to be rejected. So to expose myself like that, to make myself so vulnerable, was a big step for me. But I learned that rejection doesn’t kill me. In fact, living through it gives me a stronger, straighter backbone. I am now less of a people pleaser and more able to say, “Oh you don’t like me? That’s cool. You’re kinda a dick anyway, and even though I’m sure you have your reasons, it’s not my job to figure them out. PEACE YO.” And I can let go of it and move on. I’ll call it healthy narcissism.
So in 2019, I’m focusing less on others and more on what makes me happy—the plants that make me happy, the people who make me happy, the quiet that makes me happy. I’m giving myself permission to act how I feel, to not pretend, to not perform—and, biggest of all, to not compare. I haven’t looked at Facebook in months. I suspended my personal Instagram and am only posting on thebugbug when I feel like it. Sweet baby Jesus, I can’t even describe how liberating it is. Ignorance really is bliss, I’m telling you. I love not knowing a damn thing about other people’s (perfectly-curated) lives.
This year I will be reading a lot. I will be gardening a lot. I will be swimming a lot. I know I’ll hang out with people sometimes, but I’m mostly going to let my introverted self just exist and see where it leads me (even if it’s home most of the time…).
I hope everyone has a healthy and empowering 2019 full of love, acceptance, and peace. Sending so many good vibes through the ether. ❤️