Dale Carnegie * Gallery Books * October 1, 1936 * 276 Pages
This is one of those classics that everyone’s read—or at least should have read. I’ve been through it a few times now, and I get a little something new from it every time. I’m finally writing a review now mostly so I can remember Carnegie’s main points and review them later on.
First off, let’s just acknowledge that Carnegie is long-winded AF. He’s definitely got a “let’s get in a van and drive” vibe going on. I end up skimming through a lot of content just because, once I understand his point, I want to move on already.
Still, he does have useful things to say. Here are the main points I like most:
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Be genuinely interested in other people. Do things for them—things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.
- Smile more. You have to have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you. Also, sometimes a smile makes another person feel hopeful about life, like they aren’t alone or that the world isn’t a totally unfriendly place.
- Remember a person’s name.
- Be a good listener, and be generous with your approval and praise. Talk about the other person’s interests (and they will think you are the most amazing listener in the world…).
- And this last one is key for me, mostly because I feel it (want it?) so deeply. Make the other person feel important. And do it sincerely. We all want the approval of others. We want to feel recognized.
There’s a huge second section about winning people over to your side in an argument, but meh. I’ve been married to a lawyer for twelve years. I don’t need any more of that…