Marko Petkovic * Feel Good Rituals Publishing * November 26, 2015 * 158 Pages
This is a short book, but it is packed with simple and actionable suggestions for revitalizing your relationship. Honestly, at first I worried it was going to be too basic to be useful, but that’s just not the case. There are a bunch of good ideas in here.
The book is written and structured well. I especially appreciate the end-of-chapter summaries. Author Petkovic makes reading about the 5 Little Love Rituals easy, which is nice.
The basic premise of the book is that successful relationships require lots of little, daily positive interactions. While many struggling couples may hang their hats on the grand gesture “weekend getaway,” big trips like that (though relaxing and beneficial in their own way) just can’t make up for the million little interactions that need to happen every day. If the goal is to maximize positive interactions with your partner, you have to find ways to create bonding moments RIGHT NOW–in the midst of the job and the kids and the bills and the colds, etc… Fortunately, Petkovic gives good suggestions for how to do this. He covers a lot of ground, but some of my favorite bits of advice in the book are:
- Do the little things (empty the trash, smile, say hi).
- Keep up with your partner’s life, so you know what she likes and what’s going on.
- Find a way to talk while doing a physical activity. You can go for a walk together, or you can even fold laundry or cook dinner together.
- Always side with your partner first. Even if you don’t agree with him, you can acknowledge his feelings (e.g., it sounds like you felt attacked).
- Touch your partner, even when it doesn’t lead to sex. In other words, give her a quick kiss, rub her feet, touch her hand for no reason. (My husband and I call this touching with no sexpectations.) 🙂
- Show affection to your partner in front of your kids. It sets a good example, and it comforts them to see you love each other.
- Provide mystery. We want to feel safe, but we also want to experience adventure.
Ultimately, this ended up being a very practical, easy-to-read book. It’s not groundbreaking, necessarily, but it is helpful and encouraging.